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It was about my ability to trust someone, anyone outside my immediate family. It was not even noticeable at first; I stopped wanting and figured that wasting my time mourning the loss of real affection was like ranting at a sunset or a rainstorm. Then in the summer of 2004, I suspended my fears and disbelief and waded slowly into a relationship with a man who was completely unlike my former husband.

When you get trampled, really trampled as I did in my marriage, it is not high on your to‑do list to throw your heart into the center of U. When you let go of the need, the need lets go of you. I regularly patted myself on the back for slowly falling — it was more like tipping or leaning — in love with a man who was kind, sensible, methodical, calm and everything else my former husband was not. Nothing traumatic happened, it was just over; his choice.

She flees an abusive relationship only to have her ex essentially abandon her three sons when he moved overseas, providing no financial support and rarely communicating.

Through a cancer diagnosis, kids’ injuries (all three were wrestlers) and challenging workload, she maintains her humanity and humor. In the time since my divorce, most of my first dates were coincidentally the last dates because I couldn’t wait to get home and call a friend or one of my sisters to laugh.

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He was Catholic and wanted to remarry and didn’t see the point of going much further if I didn’t conform to canon law.

Sure, some men were polite, attractive and intelligent, but for years no sparks flew in my direction and no one was ever all that funny, interesting or a better option than a hot bath, rented movie or a stack of new magazines.

Sometimes we are so tired of being together and in charge, we do not even want to talk, listen or pick out a movie.