You know, anybody that was in that place, I know they were harmed.”Calderon also acknowledged to the Board the role anger had played in his life: “In terms of the crime itself, I don't know if I could say I was angry that night, but anger itself is one of the many things that I've dealt with, when I was young, especially. I can use anger to change and do things better, to avoid situations, and I can always-I can-it can actually be a positive emotion.Now, over the years, I've learned to deal with anger, and I understand anger in itself isn't wrong. You know, there's the thing they call ‘Righteous Anger,’ but even with anger, and I don't know if I'm answering your question fully. Something I've dealt with along the path is I know that anger doesn't take away your decision, and anger in itself, as a feeling, isn't a wrong thing.
Calderon presented a gun and ordered the clerk to remove the money in the register. Calderon and Alarcon entered the bookstore while Glasgow remained in the car outside. On June 28, 1994, based on his plea of guilty, Joseph Calderon was convicted of murder in the second degree with the use of a firearm.John Ybarra, a security guard seated behind a counter, arose and fired two shots at Calderon and Alarcon.Calderon now feels that at the time of his offenses he was using drugs and alcohol “to cover up [his] insecurities and fears.” To overcome these problems, he said, “I had to do a lot more searching, and I had to find out about why I feel the way I feel and why I do the things I do.” Calderon felt he had engaged in this self-examination fairly consistently while in prison and wished “I would have done it prior to this, but I had to go through life since then asking myself the whys. You know, I wonder how [Ybarra's] mom feels, and I know he had a sister and a brother, and I understand that even though they died and it hurt me and I cried, I understand that their loved one didn't die.
He was killed, and [the loss] has to be intensified.”When asked by a friend “if somebody killed your daughter, how would you feel,” Calderon initially refused to consider such a possibility because it “scared” him, but it also made him realize that such fear “[was] the Ybarra's family reality.” Calderon compared the effect of his actions to the ripple effect of throwing a stone in a pond.
About three years later, on June 19, 2008, the Board of Parole Hearings (Board) found Calderon suitable for parole and granted him a release date.
He was sentenced to state prison for the indeterminate term of 18 years to life, became eligible for parole on October 18, 2005, and was denied parole earlier that year.
I accept full responsibility.” Calderon repeatedly acknowledged that due to his “stupid choice,” “a man was killed that night” and “[t]here's no going around that.” At one point, after a member of the Board inquired about Calderon's current understanding of the consequences of his mistake and Calderon had reiterated his remorse, Calderon stated: “[E]ver since that day, all's I have done is try to grow and learn and what, you know, I ask myself, why did I do what I did, and when I found out what I did what I did [sic ], then it's just like-I just feel like-a man was killed because of this? ” Asked what these issues were, Calderon said they had their roots in the fact that he grew up in “a dysfunctional family.” Acknowledging that “none of this is an excuse,” Calderon added that he was about to get married, did not understand what having a normal life would be at the time, and “was dealing with a lot of insecurities and fears about both success and failure.”Calderon also recounted at some length the role alcohol played in the commission of his offense, and the extent to which alcohol and drugs negatively shaped his life.
In addition to 1990 misdemeanor convictions of possession and sale of a controlled substance (cocaine and PCP), for which he was sentenced to 15 days in county jail, Calderon was convicted in 1992 of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, for which he was granted probation.
We weren't thinking.”Describing the events leading up to the murder, Calderon told the Board he and his friends had been “out drinking” and had smoked marijuana earlier in the day.