This alleviated the feeling of being overwhelmed and helped him get to know the person he was interested in.
When he signed up for Ok Cupid in 2013, he was in Singapore but began using it more frequently when he moved to Portland, Ore., the following year.
It was around then that he saw Ok Cupid’s data on race and attraction.
Compared with other men she met on Match.com, Maltempo was far less flirtatious and more direct.
But after a friend urged Jiang, a 27-year-old native of China, to give Maltempo a chance, she realized that unlike some other people she was talking to, there was substance behind Maltempo’s messages.
He asked himself: “Would people notice [me] if I was a large bearded white guy who likes hiking? I don’t need it in online dating, too.] After nearly three years on Ok Cupid, Montecillo met his current girlfriend, who is Caucasian.
His approach was to emphasize his interests (he and his girlfriend are both big fans of Radiotopia podcasts); and keep his profile short but interesting.
Maltempo says women occasionally made assumptions about him based on his race.
“When [I was] dating non-Asians, sometimes they were interested in exotic factors that I’m not a white guy,” he said.
“Even if you give them a little bit of room in terms of looks, that still leaves a really high bar for Asian men to be considered attractive at all.” To improve his success rate on Match.com, Maltempo created a rule for himself.
Rather than cast a wide net, he would message just one woman per week.
“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.