Twenge and Campbell make the argument that narcissism is rampant, causing depression and loneliness as it spreads throughout our culture.
I’ll reserve judgment on the question of the pervasiveness of narcissism – I know many young people, and very few meet the definition, in my view.
I wasn't really interested in getting emotionally invested in someone else.But I also didn't worry too much about what might happen if I ever wanted to date a "civilian," since I wouldn't have to explain much more than that I had sex with women on camera sometimes.I know plenty of girls in my industry who have partners who are not in the business and who are quite happy.Contrary to what people will tell you, just as there are tons of people who would never date a sex worker, there are also plenty of people in prestigious occupations with designer educations that would LOVE to marry a porn star.Recently I wrote about the Principle of Least Interest. They continuously seek to demonstrate that they care less than the other party, thereby claiming the upper hand.
Women date narcissists for the same reasons they date jerks, frequently forcing nice guys into last place. We want the challenge and the magic passion with a guy who has confidence, charisma and a great sense of fun.
He wasn't exactly my type, but he was certainly good-looking and he was confident. That all sounded great to me, and I realized that I really, really didn't want to tell him about myself. I perform in graphic narratives that people use to get off.
"I know this is weird, but you're really beautiful and if I don't ask for your number, I'll probably never see you again." His name was Paul and he had blindingly white teeth. I mean, I was fine telling him about the town I grew up in, that I double majored in sociology and literature, and that I went to a prestigious writing program, and that I was working on my first novel. I think getting off is a vital part of human life and one that we shouldn't have to apologize for. He had a firm body and a pressing desire, but was very respectful in a way that was so sweet it made my stomach turn.
Ignoring him or humiliating him by failing to give him the starring role, or any role, is the only way to cause real injury to a narcissist.
It also happens to be the best way for you to move on.
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