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I'm not suggesting that we run out and get boob jobs, or that we forget about chemistry and marry the nearest millionaire on a ventilator.I didn't go to Gloria Steinem's alma mater for four years to write a book about gold digging. It's about finding a man who is your intellectual equal and wants the same things out of life you do-success, happiness, stability, and financial security.

Be light in tone but clear about your intentions (not all of them, of course).Allow them to see that you want to put the relationship on a social footing, thereby also allowing the courtesy of letting them turn you down too. Take no to mean no and never cajole, push or ask for an explanation. Plan a semi-jokey line that will immediately alleviate the atmosphere between the two of you and restore normal working relations.Work is a way of test-driving a potential partner (ie getting to know them) before taking the plunge and asking them out. Etiquette: Dating a work colleague requires a good amount of old-fashioned social etiquette, not because it will make you any more attractive but because it will make the whole process a lot more comfortable and a lot less difficult, if and when the whole thing ends. Working with someone means forging an effective relationship.Better still, you'll be seeing them during the day, rather than just propping up a bar with them in the evening. Work together during the day, pop out for a quick drink after work, Bob's your uncle. Everything is in order, from stress-busting massage at the desk to on-site counselling, so why not pick a mate there too? Hinting that you would like to take things further but never being specific can make the whole relationship uncomfortable, especially if it's a boss/employee situation.Prior to making a play for a colleague, work out the following - however hard it is to be coldly rational under the circumstances: 1. Being positive: Surely the best move if you fancy a colleague is to ask them out on a good, old-fashioned date.

Do either of you have attachments - are you or this other person married/living with one another? Let them know it's a social thing too, or they may be unsure whether it's a meeting to discuss business.We had also collectively dated an impressive string of losers including "Brooklyn Ben," a twenty-nine-year-old aspiring rock star who carried a cloth Smurf wallet with a Velcro clasp; "Little Piggy," the unusually short heir to a sausage fortune, who threw away his parents' money on long weekends in Vegas and didn't own a single book; "The Stripper's Assistant," a used-car salesman with a kid, who accompanied his best friend-a male stripper in army paint-to gigs as a bodyguard; "Virgin Atlantic," an unpublished British poet who still lived with his mom and was more talk than action; "Brad with the Broken Nose," a construction worker with a propensity for barroom brawls; and "Eddie the Drug Dealer"-no explanation needed.Starving artists, social miscreants, or hell, any guy living slightly above the poverty line were all the rage back in college, when our greatest expense was Corona with lime.Lo-ser \ lii-z&;r \ n: 1 : One that loses especially consistently 2 : One who is incompetent or unable to succeed; also : something doomed to fail or disappoint.Down-dater \ doun-'dater \ n: A woman of good character, sound mind, solid education, and great ambition, who cannot seem to tear herself apart from starving artists, men with money but no hearts, and all other classes of loser. You meet unimpressive guys who are beneath you, and you cling to them for dear life, while turning a blind eye to all the fabulous, intelligent, wealthy men of the world. By the time my best friends and I left Smith College in 2003, we had graduated with honors, gotten jobs in the fields and cities of our choice, and begun thinking about how to invest for the future.You need a strategy, and that's where Dating Up comes in.