Being clueless myself, I'm looking for suggestions--how have you handled early dating experiences? Some kids pretend they are drunk, and hence not responsible for their sexual behavior.
When my daughter asked me when I thought a girl was ready to have sex, I replied ''when she's ready to handle a baby.'' We all know that every form of birth control has a failure rate, so I don't think it's too far out to talk about pregnancy.
They have to be based on something else, giving her reasonable guidelines within which to learn to take responsibility for herself.
Its a complicated situation ( late, international, cross racial adoption, early trauma,etc. I would very much appreciate just seasoned experience and practical advice .
Set the rules that you think are appropriate for her, if they are not 100% enforceable acknowledge this to her, and be clear about the consequences if you do find out that they have been broken.
You are obviously aware that a teen who is acting out like this will rebel against very restrictive rules, but that still leaves you room to maneuver.
A lot of oral sex goes on in dating, with definite health risks, loss of reputation, etc.
I'm generally very liberal but not when it comes to early dating.
If you are not condemning (and sounds like you are not) but instead acknowledge the fact that this is ultimately a choice she must make about her own body, she will be more able to hear the things that you want to say about the situation.
That does not mean, that if you think she is too young that you need to hide that opinion, but present it in a way that acknowledges her ability to make different decisions, and make sure it conveys your concerns about the effects her choices may have on her rather than an issue of right or wrong.
She won't think any less of you if you put your arm around her.""Try putting your arm around her waist instead of her shoulder," another suggested.
Jan 2008 My 15 year old daughter informed me yesterday that she's been texting an 18 year old boy she met at the bus stop. At the time, I talked with her about ''the dangers'' while also validating how good it felt to have someone notice you etc. So, now they're texting and she's grinning and blushing and feeling all special . ) On the other hand, my saying that will only encourage her as she is seriously rebelling these days.
She had told me about him a month ago, telling me that this really cute guy kept approaching her to talk with her. I tried talking with her about it but she was angry that I was ruining her fantasy and finally said ''Fine! '' which I trust about as much as I trust George W. Any feedback from parents who have been through this? Sign me as: conflicted mother My daughter started seeing a 15 year old boy (on the water polo team)when she was 15 and I had her keep her door open when he came over and requested that his parents do the same. I always ask her to be home by dark, no matter what she's doing, out of not wanting her to walk around alone at night because it's not safe. I offered to give him a ride home but he didn't want one.