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The best way to avoid this sort of thing is to kill people with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it.Say that you’re in the midst of a phone call with a prospect (after some e-mail exchanges), and you realize that he or she just isn’t a match.Note that at Match.com, you need to turn your invisible status on each time you log in.

You have to accept the bad guy or girl role unless you want to create an even angrier person out of your former prospect.

Realize that many people forget how little time they actually have invested in their exchanges and that they don’t have a good perspective on their circumstances.

On some sites, the person also knows that you deleted it.

Say that you’re in the middle of an Instant Messaging (IM) exchange, and you realize that the prospect just isn’t a match. And for the record, the inappropriate actions are Regarding those first two actions, your prospect would probably think you had computer problems and keep trying to reach you, which isn’t what you want. And regarding the porno action, sending pornographic material can be construed as harassment and get you into a heap of legal trouble.

Reporting abuse to the site is far more effective than just blocking a person’s messages (a feature offered on most sites).

However, if you’re a drama king or queen, don’t practice your art of “the sky is falling.” If you fabricate e-mails and try to damage someone’s reputation, you’ll run foul of several civil and criminal laws — maybe even antiterrorism federal law.

You need to know how to dish out rejection in an appropriate way.

As with real life, you must do it quickly — and with a modicum of kindness, if possible.

Remember that nothing is ever completely erased on the Internet, so made-up abuse is pretty easy to expose.

And if you report inappropriately, the site will monitor your mail.

The appropriate actions to take include Occasionally, you’ll run into people who just won’t stop contacting you even after you’ve rejected them.